I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
