she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
