Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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