Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There r osticjed everywhere
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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