Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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