You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
