I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
