I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
