Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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