Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
