As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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