Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
