So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
