i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You need Xanax blowdarts
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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