Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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