sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
