Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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