If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
