in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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