There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
