Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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