I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
