hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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