and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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