How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
