Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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