Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
