Swine flu is the new snow day.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
