Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
