I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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