I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
