I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
