he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
