I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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