1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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