you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
