According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
