youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
