I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
