haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize