I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
