only if we run a train.
done.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
