You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
