Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+26): View more from

And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.

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(850): View more from Florida

I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"

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(330): View more from Ohio

Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

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(251): View more from Alabama

I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

(478): View more from Georgia

Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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(313): View more from Michigan

First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina

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(573): View more from Missouri

You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.

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(845): View more from New York

I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.

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