I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize