youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
