You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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