this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
