grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize