i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
