# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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