that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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