And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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