So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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