My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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