Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
