actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
