Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
