"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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