So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
