i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
