I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
