It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
