apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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