You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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