She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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