i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
