told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
