i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize